Goverment Issue Angst
The title is weird, I could as easily have made that "police issue", but the image of G.I. Angst is just too deliciously ludicrious to pass up. Imagine some sort of ripped emo guy, hair combed over his eyes with thick black plastic spectacle frames. Grenades strapped on a bandolier and packing serious heat, ready to kick Unamerican Butt. G.I. Angst! He'll probably bore the enemies (Cobra Commando yo!) he fights with his constant whining though. Much like the angsty whining I'm about to deliver here. (cue evil laugh) Bwahahaha. Haha. Ha. Irunno, I'm beginning to think G.I. Angst sounds more at home with the bad guys.
The angsting is for later, now we make stupid little observations.
Didn't mention it in my last post but it was raining for pretty much the whole day yesterday. It was a light rain but it was constant downpour. As I've mentioned before rain makes me happy. There's something about the smell of the air and the play of the raindrops on the skin that just gets to me. However in the morning I came to learn that source of that constant rainfall was a typhoon that hit hard, causing flashfloods and hundreds of deaths. Two observations I can take from this. I'm so disconnected from local news that it's not really funny. Actually, I'm quite disconnected from current affairs in general, which is really a bad thing. One should always know what's happening in the world around him. Secondly, isn't it kind of morbid to think that the rainfall that made me happy was, at the same time, also killing people? It's grimly poetic in a wierd sort of way.
I seem to have a penchant for idolizing assholes, at least on the internet anyway where they are far removed from me. Maddox, Fr057m0urn3, Tucker Max. I relish their writing for some reason or other. I mean, in real life I'd probably hate these people if they exhibited their asshole-ness so openly but when separated from these people by the barrier of annonyminity the internet provides, I just have to laugh at their exploits. I know it's quite juveneille but there you go. I'm a bloody hypocrite. Actually, I have a theory that in every person, there is an inner asshole just waiting to get out and rip someone a new one. It's just that we're too bloody nice and just reign the asshole-ic tendencies in. Speaking of a-hole's, hi RGR :P
I suppose there are ways to express your tendency to be an asshole in a much more creative ways other than constant swearing/putdowns or outright bashing. One example that leaps to mind is my favourite comedy musician, Tom Lehrer. His songs, to me, seem to be words of a grade-A bastard cleverly wrapped up in nicer forms.
I won something at school. Woop de bleepin' do. It was just an English essay thing, nothing that big but I got P500 for winning it so I guess that's good. To celebrate, I went down to Starbucks to have a White Chocolate Mocha. Whee! Well actually, that P500 went to paying my sister back money I owe her, so I guess it all evens out. There's also a certificate for it though I don't place much importance on it. I don't really buy into the cult of pieces of paper defining the worth/potential of a person. Although the certificate might come in handy for when I finally apply for some other college.
Okay, angst time. Skip this paragraph if you don't want to read about my patheticness. Still here? Okay, someone tell me how the smeg do you get over someone? Cause I don't think I am. I was just too distracted by a percieved vibe of go-away-I-dont-want-you-here from her to do my work in class properly. It just made me way too restless, I'd even go so far as to describe a slight heartache. The nausea was dispelled though soon enough. I think whatever feelings I have for her border on selfishness. I'm not sure if I really do care for her.
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