Still dunno if anyone from the class actually reads this. *shrugs*

Anyway, since yesterday I guess, I've been in a state of... something. Maybe happiness, dunno. It's been so long since I've felt it that its such a foreign sensation. Like is in the air? I still feel weird. I still don't know how to proceed.

Monday was.. irunno, on impulse I did something, now it feels out of control.. in a good way. Tuesday, uhm, "glands" (Terry Pratchett reference!) were on overdrive. Thinking about nothing would put me in a state of euphoria almost. I felt like a giddy school girl. Gah. So out of character for me.

I still don't know what to do. I have fears. Fears of rejection fears of the unknown. Fears of letting someone down. Feelings are so conflicting. And I wonder if I could survive an interrogation like what we put a certain somebody through. Will I be able to reveal? Do I know? I'm trying to examine my feelings, wondering why and if it is reason enough. I want a relationship to be more than just "because".

A song in my playlist sums up my feelings quite well. Except maybe for the L word. I can't call it that yet. Gah, why do I make it sounds like such a bad word. The White Stripes - Fell In Love With a Girl

Fell in love with a girl
fell in love once and almost completely
she's in love with the world
but sometimes these feelings
can be so misleading
she turns and says are you alright?
I said I must be fine cause my heart's still beating
come and kiss me by the riverside,
bobby says it's fine he don't consider it cheating

Can't think of anything to do
my left brain knows that
all love is fleeting
she's just looking for something new
and I said it once before
but it bears repeating