It never really goes away. The last week was marked by it's never ending emotional toll. The rage and pain seems to have subsided but I think all I'm doing is repressing it, it feels like it lurks just below the surface, waiting for my weakness to unleash itself. I can't get myself to do anything critical.

The pain of betrayal was supplanted by rage and then by a perturbed stillness. Questions of guilt, of why, of wondering if I could have done anything about it. And now the strongest amongst us is asking for the hardest thing.

I want to give my mom what she wants, I know she hurts more than any of us could ever feel, and has more right to be unforgiving. But I'm unable to forgive yet.

6 years of cheating. fuck you dad.