Gah. I guess it would be alright to post this in my blog. It's still semi-private and I think it's safe from the eyes of my classmates (I need to get a hit counter to see what kind of activity is going on in my blog).

There is someone but I don't know. I'm getting weirded out and the fears are coming back again. Then again, they never really left, they were simply suppressed.

Things are easier when you don't feel anything. Maybe the mind and the heart should never be mixed. I caught myself thinking, I'm in love, yet, in my mind I know it's not that. I know love should be deeper than attraction.

How does she feel about me? I seriously don't know. Sigh. I don't know.

I have a serious problem with this "socializing" stuff. I'm kinda socially incompetent (only kinda?). I've already demonstrated it to her once (damnit). I'm scared of doing it again.

On the way to the cinema, I had a weird semi-conversation with her. It was really weird. In my head I replay it, not in slow motion, but in fast forward. I hear snatches of what we said. I hear myself going into my drawl. Crash. Way to go (visualize me pounding a pillow here, cause that's what I just did).

Weird thing is, I could muster the courage to joke around with another girl when she's just beside me but I can't get myself to have a normal conversation with her. Gah.

removed for being too specific