I've been pretty unfocused on the things I've done in my life. Throughout my life, I can't think of a single major thing that I've seen all the way through. My first unfulfilled project was the Jump and Bump (JnB) newsletter. That along with my JnB website anyway. Man, I miss that website. That was the thing that drove me to learn HTML. Too bad that I lost my copy of the website. Still quite annoyed that I lost the backup on my PC when the webhost suddenly went AWOL on me. That was my first website darnit!

After that, I had All The Oldies (ATO). It was supposed to be an abandonware website that I was going to do along with a person in the abandonware scene called Yonatan. I even did quite a few redesigns of it. Too bad it never did launch, thanks to my slackness in coding the website backend. Although one good thing that came out of it was my learning of PHP. Err, somehow I guess that makes the awkwardness of avoiding Yonatan on IM programs worth it. I think.

Right after that, I actually delivered a somewhat working content management system for Movie Mania. The website owner was my classmate back in secondary school and he had asked me to create one for him since he knew I was into PHP. However, when asked to update it.. err, I went unfocused yet again. I actually had 50% of the features working for the second version, but for some reason, I lost interest in it and work on it stagnated. (In other news, I glanced through movie mania and saw news that two CSI members got fired! Nooo!)

Afterwards, I think I actually had a streak of focused determination in creating pixel art. At least I do remember having a period where I would do a lot of pixel art, trying to get an insight on how the masters of pixelling over at the pixelation forums did their mojo. But in time, my interest went away.

More recently, I was trying out my hand at doing 3d models. But then again the inevitable happened. I lost my focus halfway. I even had a pretty good reason to remain focused on 3d modelling, cause I was helping out with a mario model pack for Natural Selection. I had quite a bit of time invested in some of the models in that pack, but well, I lost it. I think I might have dissapointed a few members in the forum too, cause I said I wouldn't give up on the pack when the guy who started it was giving it up. Meh.

And right now? What do I see myself losing interest in and abandoning halfway? Well, I'm actually supposed to be right now developing a templating system for PHP5, one which would really seperate content from logic, unlike Smarty. However, I think I'm starting to lose interest in that already. I haven't been planning it out at all recently, which is what I should be doing if I'm really serious about it.

Besides that, I'm in the middle of writing a design document for a browser game which I think would be really interesting to do. Still haven't lost interest in it though. I still find it fun to think about the possibilities the game could have.-

I wish I could motivate myself to remain more focused on things. When I think about it, there's a lot of things I could have done with my life already had I been motivated enough to do it. Although all this jumping around of interests have taught me quite a few things, all I 've become is mediocre in many things without really mastering anything.

19 going on 20, living a life so unfulfilled.